I would like to share with you my recent story about Mormonism.
I grew up in Utah, but was not raised Mormon in any sense. I never was part of the church never attended ward meetings ect.
In high school I met and fell in love with a Mormon girl, whose parents are some of the most strict Mormons I have ever seen. The girl I met was obviously in a rebellious state at the time I met her. We eventually got married, her parents agreed to the marriage and help out with the planning but after the marraige refused to associate with us.
I was in the military when we married and our first two years where very delightful...I cant recall being happier.
My wife gave birth to a daughter in our second year of marriage. The families (her family) started coming to town, and I noticed distance in my relationship with my wife. She would frequently travel back to Utah to spend time with her folks. Around a year after the birth of our daughter our marriage was in a very big bind, so I caved in and joined the LDS church. It was the first time her parents had hugged me or said more then two sentences to me. They came to visit all the time and wanted both of us to visit them all the time. It didn't last long because soon as I was baptized into Mormonism I felt very very unlike myself, I was filled with depression and guilt, fear of God all the time. I felt everything I did was wrong. So I stopped going to the church, and started living like me again. Needless to say my wife keep in touch with her folks. I ended my active service in the military and we headed home for Utah.
Within one week of our return my wife walked out the door. The divorce only took two months and it was finalized. She had told me that the bishop, her parents, and the church had felt closer to her then me.
I later found out that she and her family had planned for about two months prior to my end of active duty that once she got to Utah that she would leave. Her parents bought her a car, gave her all the cash she needed. (job, clothes, etc.)
I pleaded with her for months after that we should go to counseling and find professional help, but to no avail.
Her dad said to me once "If you raise your child in the church, no matter where they may stray in life, they will eventually end up back in the church". That held so true with my ex-wife. She is very active now and still lives with her parents.
I just thought I would share this experience with you. I don't know why, maybe I am just hurt and angered.
On a side note, recently I talk with my ex-wife, she is on antidepressants and is the primary teacher for her ward. I didn't know what to say about her depression, but I truly believe the church is more of a burden on her life then I was.
I am truly grieved by your story. I have heard similar ones so many times. I am posting this to my web site in the hope that someone, somewhere will read it and be spared the trauma you have experienced.
The only hope I can offer you is that as you take this to God, He will heal your broken heart. I know that sounds hollow now. It even sounds hollow to me. If I didn't know for sure that it is true, I wouldn't dare say it to you. But time and faith _will_ heal you. Draw near to God and he will draw near to you (James 4:8)
I pray God will lift you up and that your life will move on from here in ever increasing faith.