Dear Jim,

I have been reading through your site for several hours now and have seen how you have helped so many people. I am not normally the kind of person to talk about something this personal with a stranger, I guess I'm just looking for

I have been dating a mormon for 4 years now. For the first 3 he wasn't active, we where a normal loving couple, best friends. One day out of nowhere he says that he is getting a feeling from God to pursue the church, even if it means leaving me. We talked through it; all of this actually made us closer. We wanted to find a way to work it out together so we started going to church together. One week he'd go to my Christian church, the next I'd go with him. I immediately saw the sickening practices and couldn't stand to be there. I kept going so he would go with me, I guess I thought that by exposing him to something other than the mormon ways he might be able to open his eyes.

Well, here we are a year later. Out of nowhere he says that God is leading him to go on a mission and he wants to go to the temple. Things are pretty much over; I have lost my closest best friend and don't know what to do. I feel like I have let him down. I prayed every night for God to help open his eyes and his heart and see the hurtful, senseless teachings of that church. In a way I feel betrayed by God for not helping. How could God lead anyone down that path? I feel like I should have been able to do more to help. I feel like my faith in God is going away. I know it sounds sickening to doubt the path that God has planned for me, but I just can't imagine why God is not listening and trying to help me help this person.

I was hoping you might have few words to add that might be able to help me get through this. Thank you.



I have to ask this question to be of any help. Have you had a sexual relationship with him all this time? Blunt, I know. But if the answer is yes, it answers all your other questions. I don't plan on being hard on you. I want to help you. But in order to be of some help, I need to be straight with you. In this day and age, "dating" (especially when it goes on for four years) is almost always simultaneous with cohabitation. So, before I can go any further, let me know the history of the relationship.


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