Thank you for your insight. I am so sorry for emailing you (as a stranger) and pouring my relationship out to you. I guess it's foolish, but the more and more I learn the more I want to talk to someone that once was part of the mormon church. I have become desperate.
Your description of the "rabbit hole" is what I needed to hear. You are right...it's probably too much for me to handle which is dangerous. Although, I end up obsessing and wanting to read more, and more, and more. Unfortunately, I still can't get past "how do these great people believe all of this!"
I know I am unequally yoked. I just keep thinking that maybe God has brought [my friend] and I together for a reason and that I shouldn't give up. I am just making "excuses" to convince myself of what is not the reality.
Thank you for sharing me your words of wisdom and truth. You are right that I need to be more obedient. Maybe my faith is being tested by the Lord. That is one thing that I have been trying to work on...lying everything in the Lord's hands and stepping away from what I can not handle. And yes, I do have motives of hoping that he and I can marry which I do seem to think about a lot. My motives are not 100% for his eternity. Although, every time I think about him going to hell I feel awful and hope that the Lord will unblind his faith.
If you have any more to say, I would like to hear! Again, thank you for showing me the reality and seriousness of my relationship with him and my disobedience to the Lord. It's all that I should know better about but I just seem to want to believe in hope. [My friend] will be deploying right after the holidays...hopefully that will help.
Good response. Your heart, I think, is set on serving God. And, I do believe that God is giving you a window with [your friend's] deployment. A window to untagle yourself. It won't be easy. But there is a lesson to be learned here and I believe you will learn it.
I know it sounds old fashioned, but the truth is that we should not date someone without thinking that this person might be our eventual marriage partner. And for a Christian that means we _must_ date a Christian. Only despair and hopelessness result from forging on ahead in spite of the biblical warning.
Again, Amber, I appreciate the honesty of your reply and join with you in praying not only for [your friend's] eventual salvation, but for your peace as you let him go.