Mr. Spencer,

Thanks for the information that you sent. I read over it last night and my conviction that "the church IS NOT true" (a bit of testimony bummer) was hardened. I am trying to come to know Christ more and more everyday. I am attending a First Baptist Church that is very supportive of my salvation. It is nice to be embraced by people and not feel any manipulation like I feel with LDS. True Christ-like love is one of the most beautiful thing. and I hope that I can share it with others.

I really appreciate your ministry work. It is such a comfort to know that I am not the only one out there rejecting the LDS world. It was difficult for me to allow myself to question weather the Church could be false. I am the youngest of five children who are all extremely intelligent individuals, and choosing to go against what they believe and have even devoted time to teaching others was hard. Being the youngest comes with a lot of heartburn anyway. I have lived my life with the desire and need for my sibling's approval. For me to completely reject what they hold dear--is hard on my heart. I also am expected to have a very valid reason to leave and reject their beliefs. I have worked really hard to outgrow the "kid sister" role and for them to see me as the adult that i am--23-still a baby, but on my way to being grown up! :)

I attended Brigham Young University like my brothers and sister. I even dated a few Mormon boys--even got engaged to a Returned Missionary! I even took temple-preparation classes (from which I was asked to leave because of the nature of my questions--they would not tell me what things I had to commit to doing before I decided if I wanted to go to the temple. The teacher said that I would be asked to commit to them _during_ the ceremony--not before. This really made me angry. I don't sign ANY contract until I have read the entire document--and here they were asking me to commit my eternal soul with out knowing exactly what I would be committing myself to. So I asked the brother if anyone during the endowment ceremony left (especially on the day before her wedding)? That was when I was asked to leave the class, because I obviously was not Prepared for the temple.

I soon after broke up with my RM and got kicked out of school, so I came home to Virginia and started a new life for myself. Everyday I am unbelievably grateful that I did not marry that boy--it was so wrong. We were constantly told that "any two temple-worthy people can have a successful marriage." I think not, it takes a little bit more than that. I was pressured by the whole environment to do the "good Mormon thing"--get my ring and accept my lot in life. Be the wife of a good Mormon boy and raise brainwashed children. Sorry!!!! that is not the life for me. I always felt that my spirit was being squashed by the LDS Church and by All the men in it. I was told on more occasions than I'd like to admit by LDS men/boys that "if I learned to keep my mouth shut, I'd be married by now!" And how did I expect to get a husband if I did not rid myself of my feminist ideas. I never had feminist ideas--only equalitarian ideas! I also battled with the idea that good men are exalted and good women only are if they are married to the good men. That goes against everything that Christ taught.

Anyway...sorry to vent like this, but it is nice to talk to others who share similar experiences. Thanks again for all that you do.

God bless!



Wow! Mary, what a letter!

So glad we were able to help.

Would you mind if I used your letter on my web site? I'd be willing to make you anonymous.